Independence is fought for, and definitely earned.
We just celebrated independence Day. The United States independence didn’t come easily. There was a war, before this nation could declare independence. So it is with our families. Too often there is a war before children can declare their independence.
Whether we realize it or not, the act of birthing a child is the first step towards children becoming independent. It’s an agonizing process filled with tenuous moments. Every step is full of peril. I’m sure that if we could we would stop the delivery, citing that the journey is too difficult for the baby.
At birth the physical attachment, the placenta which nourishes and keep the baby alive in the womb, is replaced with a physical attachment through nursing. Nursing serves not only to feed the child, but also to further develop the (hopefully) permanent emotional attachment.
This attachment is stronger than both the placenta, and the nursing attachments. It can be so strong, that the natural process of the child gaining independence can be hindered and marred, by either parent or child. What would be a smooth transition for both becomes a battlefield.
Hopefully there will be no loss of life in this battle.
The struggle is real. We have to keep in mind this independence day that we all desire to be independent. This is a battle that our young adults are supposed to win, and by default parents are supposed to lose. They are driven by their innate desire from birth, to be independent. We must give way to their process so that they can become responsible adults holding their own.
It’s our job to stand back and watch them grow away.
Please Bless parents, who are in a constant process of release as they allow children to gain independence.