Young people are like little sponges. Their minds are constantly working. They pay attention to what you are saying, what you're not saying, and even more attention is given to how you say what you say.
I was always fascinated with hearing something I said come out of my daughter's mouth. Some things I was proud of, and some things I wasn't so proud of... Our young people's conversations often reflect our beliefs about them and others.
Too often we wonder why our children don't achieve more. We believe that they have much more talent and ability than they demonstrate, so what is the disconnect? Could it be that what we communicate to them, verbally or nonverbally, may cause the incongruity between their performance and their ability?
If we listen to them in casual conversations, might we hear them being negative, pessimistic, and unmotivated? Do their conversations mirror our own conversations? Do they approach new situations with enthusiasm or fear? How do they learn what they know about the world?
This is not intended to blame parents, but our children's learning about the world is rooted in the home. Society only adds to home learning. After listening to your children, listen to yourself, see if what you are saying is what you want to say. Maybe what you intend to say, isn't what they hear. Your assignment is to listen and hear what you are saying. If the message you're giving isn't the message intended, it's hard work, but change the message.
As always let me know what you hear, and how you changed your message.