I recently watched a police show, in which a young lady had killed her boyfriend. She was super talkative. Although she asked for a lawyer (the police agreed to get a lawyer for her), she continued to talk. The police never asked her one question. She talked for two hours and forty-six minutes with no break in the dialog. Her verbiage was so overwhelming, that the police alternated turns sitting with her as she talked. Never asking her one question.
She made it harder for herself.
Sometimes parenting requires the sweet golden sound of silence. Sometimes words only serve to weaken the message we want to get across to our children; too many words, cause children, and teens especially to not even hear us anymore.
There is something beautiful about silence. It can do a work that words can never accomplish. Yet this tool is rarely used in parenting today. There is only one tool used for communication these days, that is the spoken word. Although, most of the time, the unspoken word would be much more powerful.
The unspoken word use tools, such as: leading by example, allowing children to learn from mistakes, and looks of approval, and yes looks of disapproval. Some of these tools are unheard of, and even discouraged. They have been replaced with short cuts.
Short cuts tools such as: “do what I tell you, not as I do “have replaced “leading by example”. “Preventing children from suffering from any mistakes” have replaced “children learning from mistakes”. “Constant verbal praise” has replaced both, “looks of approval and looks of disapproval”.
Just being in each other’s presence is valuable. It’s not necessary to fill the silence with noise, words, and doing. Being is a reward all by itself. If allowed, silence will do its therapeutic work. Set aside time to just be quiet, and let silence work its magic. It’s not just doing nothing. It’s being something: silent.