Teenage years can be very volatile. Most of the time teenagers feel strongly about everything. Simple disappointments become catastrophic events in the eyes of teenagers. They can be okay one minute and angry and upset the next. It’s easy to get on the emotional roller coaster with them; most of the time that causes more problems than it’s worth.
What to you seems to be an easy decision may cause sheer agony for teens. It doesn’t help to inform them that the answer is a no-brainer. Some teens must go through the pain of taking the long, challenging road to solve problems.
You may want to jump in and solve their problem, but that may only make the situation worse. You may be perceived as saying the teens are incapable of managing their issues. This may increase resistance.
Here are ten suggestions that are helpful to remember when your teen needs help to resolve problems.
Join them. Agree as far as possible. No matter what the problem is, agree that it is a problem.
Normalize their feelings. If they feel irritated, acknowledge. Say something like that is irritating.
Don’t minimize the teens’ feelings. It won’t help to tell teens that they are overreacting.
Always remain calm. Getting on the emotional roller coaster usually, makes things worse.
Don’t take it personally. Some times their anger has nothing to do with you.
Talk about their feelings. Teach them it’s safe to talk to you, even if you don’t agree.
Be nonjudgemental. Avoid labeling mistakes or opinions they have.
Help them resolve issues. Sometimes they only need a listening ear.
Be objective. Avoid trying to make the answer convenient to yourself.
Avoid oversimplifying issues. Remember their problems are genuine and complicated, to them.